Today in Canada, my car was vandalized.
I’ve been through some shady neighborhoods before, but never have I been mugged. Never have I had to worry about my car getting stolen.
If Canada has taught me one thing, it is to appreciate your car while it is in good shape. It may not last long.
The good news is that I know who did it. The bad news is that the police won’t care.
Who did it?
A stupid cardinal.
Yes, a bird vandalized my car. And I’m not talking about the “Hey, that looks like a nice rest stop to get rid of my worms” kind of vandalization.
I’m talking about the “Hey, look at that car. It must be owned by a Cubs fan” kind of vandalization.
A cardinal attacked my side mirrors and scratched them up. The only logical explanations are
a) a mirror killed the cardinal’s parents, and so he needed to satisfy his need for revenge,
b) the cardinal saw his reflection and thought it was another bird that was encroaching on his turf.
It was probably b.
I would have taken a video, but I was too mad and focused on scaring the bird off. However, if you want to see what it looks like, just do a Youtube search of “Birds vs. car windows” and I’m sure you’ll see similar situations.
The moral of the story is none. There really isn’t any. I just needed to vent my feelings and declare my newfound hatred of cardinals.
Other than what happened to my side mirrors, today was a pretty decent day.
One thing I’ve learned about Canada (at least Ontario) is that half of the people speak French. And almost everything in the stores has French on it. It’s pretty cool. Reminds me of my old French classes in high school.
Too bad I don’t remember most of what I learned. However, I did try to say, “Bonjour” to every clerk I met today. None of them tried speaking in French to me; they must have known I was American somehow.
Here are some other things I learned today:
Tim Horton’s has the best potato wedges I’ve ever had.
McDonald’s McGriddles don’t have the scrambled egg like we do in America (which is the correct way, of course). Instead, the McGriddles have the egg prepared like the Egg Mcmuffins.
Also, Frankenstein prefers Burger King.
I know I’ve had a lot of fast food the past 24 hours, but what the heck, I’m on vacation. I decided to have dinner at a place called Harvey’s:
And if you go on one of the boats near the Falls, you’ll get drenched in water. Weird, huh?